It’s that time of year again. Man Flu

It’s winter in Australia now, but it is warmer in a lot of countries, so this post goes out to all the women who have to look after the men in their lives who get the Man flu, need Manpons  and in need of a pill to fix all their ills, and if those don’t work, there’s another pill at the bottom of this post that will sort everything.

 

Men can be such babies when they get sick, and Man flu, Manpons and a pill for complainers will definitely help .

Manpons – for the guys that act like little bitches and whinge like a girl

A pill for chronic complainers,

Hypochondria?

Pay too much tax?

Boss not fair?

Not gettin any?

Back hurts?

No One Cares is for you!

they are recommended to be take with a nice warm cup of shut the hell up.

Codral Man Flu tablets

How To Avoid The Flue

Eat right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.
Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.
Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.
Wash your hands often. If you can’t wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air.
Open doors & windows whenever possible.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
Get plenty of rest.
OR
Take the doctor’s approach.
Think about it…
When you go for a shot, what do they do first?
They Clean your arm with alcohol…
Why?
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
So……
Walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
Put lime in your Corona …(fruit)
Celery in your Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh….(eliminate stress)
Then pass out. (rest)
The way I see it…
If you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can’t get you!
My grandmother always said,  ‘A shot in the glass  is better than one in the ass!’
Live Well – Laugh Often – Love Much

And another pill for those that all other pills don’t help with, the Fuckitol pill

Pack Enough Supplies in a Suitcase To Travel For A Year

Expert Packer Manages To Stuff Enough Supplies in A Suitcase To Travel For A Year

Article by  ANA LUISA SUAREZ

I‘ve been flying on airplanes for nearly two decades, but only last year did I stop checking a bag and started exclusively using carry-on luggage.

Checked bags cost a fortune! Airlines act like they are giving you a deal if they say that the first checked bag is only $25. Remember when it was free and they gave you food for free, too?

If you’re like me and have vowed to never check a bag again, then you need to watch Rachel Grant’s packing video. She manages to squeeze 100 items into a tiny carry-on bag!

These items aren’t just small travel products, either. She transfers an entire rolling rack of clothing into her carry-on luggage. She is my hero!

This level of expertise doesn’t come easy. It takes a bit of practice and skill, but using her tips, anyone can do this. Maybe not 100 items, but try for at least 75!

Her biggest help in packing like this is using rubber bands to compress things like shoes, Ziploc bags to suck out any extra air, and packing cubes to keep things as organised as possible.

Now, don’t think you could pack 100 sweatshirts in your bag. Rachel suggests using lightweight fabrics so this hack is perfect to use if you’re going on vacation to the beach. You don’t need much else besides your bathing suit anyhow!

If you need to use multiple suitcases, then you can also use these expert packing hacks to maximise every ounce of space you have in your suitcase!

http://www.littlethings.com/packing-carry-on-suitcase/

How many items can you pack in a carry on bag?

Don’t forget to SHARE this with all of your friends and family!

Ageing can be Graceful – here are some of my tips

 Mature Age Dressing

A gracefully ageing woman is incredibly beautiful and the experience she has, makes her beauty shine.

As we grow older we are still beautiful, it’s just a different beauty than when we are in our twenties and thirties.

We understand that beauty in a child is different than a teenager, however once we reach our twenties, thirties and beyond, we don’t realise that we have a different beauty, when we learn to accept the changes in our appearance through ageing, we can start to be happy with ourselves when we look in the mirror.

A gracefully ageing woman can be beautiful, and her experiences in life will make her beauty shine, however, she needs to be re- educated on what is complementary to her new beauty.

We don’t want to look like grannies nor mutton dressed as lamb.

The same principles that we had as younger women, using colours, body proportion, camouflaging or illusion dressing and dressing to suit your personality and lifestyle need to be addressed.

There are other things that we need to be aware as we age, and at ReDress Your Life we show you how do dress , wear your hair and apply make-up, in the most flattering way, that  you will love and feel confident in.

I would love to share with some of my top points of what NOT to do to age gracefully

• Have a glasses chain attached to your glasses or granny half glasses. (An exception, of course if you are on a boat and are likely to lose your glasses or sunnies over the side, having a chain is a darn sight cheaper than replacing your glasses) 

• Long straight hair parted down the middle, with a fringe and roots needing a long overdue touch up

• Boobs hanging too low, and not wearing a properly fitted supportive bra, did you know that wearing a properly fitted bra can drop you a full dress size?

• Grey hair showing through your eyebrows or not shaping them,

• Wearing your foundation either too thick, the wrong colour or foundation lines half way down your neck

• Wearing pants that are wider at the top of the leg than at the ankle.

• Not looking after your hands and nails

• Wearing comfortable shoes that are without style, nanna shoes. (you can have comfort and style)

• If your lips are narrow, wearing dark lipstick that bleeds everywhere, try some LipSense by SeneGence lipstick that stays on without bleeding for 4 – 18 hours (PS! Yes I sell this product, and I love it, not to be a sales pitch, but if you want to try it, send me a message and I will get in touch to see if I can help you with this, once you try it, you will want to buy it,)
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Christmas (Xmas) in July Grainger Style

I love Christmas, well Santa’s really.

I have loads and loads of Santa’s and his helpers, some hand made and some bought, but I love them all.

10 years ago our  sons moved out of home and that was the last time that my Santa’s and his helpers saw the light of day. Last November, due to major health issues my in-laws moved into our home, and Grumpy Grainger decided that the Santa’s and his helpers could move to our lock up, poor buggers, banished to the cold and damp. So he picked them all up and took them down to the dark and damp lock up, where they sat waiting patiently for me to set our house up at Christmas time, that wasn’t going to happen or organise a  Xmas in July.

What started out as me wanting to set up our home with the Santa’s and his helpers turned out to be a wonderful evening.

I initially put up an expression of interest for our friends on Facebook, expecting no more than about 20 of our friends, and all of our friends said that they wanted to come, so I decided to contact our club and see if we could hold the function (the numbers had grown to about 40 people at this stage and we didn’t want to have that many people in our home on a cold winters evening) at the MOFSC, well it took a bit of pressure on my part with a lot of pressure from Grumpy and we finally agreed on a cost for the meal and the night so I then created flyers and tickets, and each Thursday and Friday evenings I put flyers around the club and on the Saturday evenings, the girls from the restaurant put more flyers on the tables.

Well the numbers got to 72 on the evening, however 1 couple were not able to come as poor Marina broke her arm on her bike the previous weekend, so we had 70 attendees.

It was so much fun, the theme for Secret Santa presents was naughty or nice, and everyone had to buy a gift for the same sex to the value of $15, wrap it in newspaper and put a B for boy and G for girl on it, some people didn’t read the instructions very well and wrapped then pressies in pretty or Xmas paper.

We had a big blow up Santa on a Harley Davidson in the corner, on loan from Diane & Coleman, Anita borrowed some fantastic reindeer (Some were handmade) from her art class, we had a true Aussie Christmas tree (a potted green ficus), with g strings attached, decorated in true Christmas form and Santa’s and their helpers everywhere. The dinner started at 6:30 and once it was dark outside and the lights on the setting was like a true Christmas grotto.

Some of the pressies were a real laugh and everyone got into the spirit of the evening, I even dressed up as Sassy (my friend Bryan called me Sexy) Mother Christmas with my lovely short dress, stockings and broken suspenders.

A big thankyou to the ladies who came and helped me set up the Santa’s and the tables.

All we have to do now is book again for next year, I am thinking the theme might be hand made or DIY??

Thermomix Degustation – Grainger Style

The idea started last year when I commented to one of my friends that I haven’t used my Thermomix as much as I should.

Terry, my friends husband said that they would invite us over one free weekend to have a Thermomix dinner, however 12 months on and we still hadn’t organised something.

Thermomix. Receta MiniMagdalenas (Photo credit: chocolatisimo)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I thought I might have another Thermomix dinner party with a few friends, after mentioning to a couple of friends, it has now turned into a Thermomix Degustation dinner, Grainger Style.

One of our friends sells the machines, so I asked Margy what she thought of the idea and she thought it was fantastic, so I mentioned my idea to a few more people, ladies who don’t have a thermie, and they too were excited.

The general consensus was great idea, so I decided on a date 12th April (Terry & Marina were on holiday until 11th and so were Diane & Coleman) and we have other friends going away on the 16th, so the 12th was the date.

I sat down and went through the Everyday cookbook (the new one), wrote down a whole list of recipes that I thought we could cook easily.  I was short a few, so rang Margy and asked her to give me some ideas.

Between the 2 of us we came up with a fantastic menu for our degustation.  By this time, I had loads of people asking if they could come, due to space, unfortunately we had to limit the numbers to 28.  Including Greg and myself after the invites and responses we have 25 attendees.

We decided that we would have our dinner party at the club (MOFSC), however, I won’t go into details, but the powers that be decided to put up too many  roadblocks, in my opinion unwarranted, (they obviously did not want us to be there), so now we are having it at our house.  Since starting this, we have had that many people ask if they can come to the next one, so hopefully if everything goes well tomorrow, there will be plenty more to come, but we will have to limit the number to 25 if we have a sit down meal.

Greg set up all the tables and chairs last weekend, cleaned the windows and is generally being a good sport about the whole thing, given that he does not think much of the thermie.

I have spent this last week sorting out menus, ingredient lists and quantities, emailing all invited and asking for donations of food, that we require small quantities so that we  don’t have to spend a lot of money to buy stuff especially if we only need 50g of something.

I cant believe how generous everyone has been, I think that everyone has donated something to the mix

We now have 6 machines coming, wow!! I am sure it will be a fantastic evening.

We wanted to create and cook a large variety of food to be able to utilise the machine as much as possible, hence the degustation.

I have sorted out a few of the pantry items,both out of my pantry and some of the invited guests have given me their donations early.

Table cloths, table settings, the table pretties (balloons & marshmallows) organised by Shelley and Marina, meat by Margy, groceries by Greg & Lee, thermies, and accessories by Marina, Shelley, Margy, Lee, Michelle and Julie, name place  settings by Maxine,lots of donations from all of the other ladies.

Thanks girls.

Our menu for our inaugural Thermomix degustation :-

Cocktails

Midori Splice

Strawberry Daiquiri

Peach Bellini

Tropical splice daiquiri

Home made lemonade

Appetisers

Sundried tomato dip

Herb & garlic dip

Capsicum & sundried tomato dip

Chicken liver pate

Foccacia – dukkah

Pizza Bianca

Entrees

Chicken Valute soup

Pumpkin feta zucchini field mushroom

Herbal chicken hors doeuvres

Arancini with saffron aioli

Mains

Chicken Valute meal

Lamb rack with port sauce on mashed potato

Beef stroganoff & mashed potato

Curry chicken & rice

Mushroom risotto

Desserts

Sweet chocolate & strawberry pizza

Lemon coconut pudding

Simple almond cheese – dairy free ricotta cheese with quince paste

Sticky date pudding / butterscotch sauce & custard

Fruity berry dream

Today’s funny

THE NUN AND THE HIPPIE
A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her: “Can we have sex?”

“No,” she replies, “I’m married to God.”
She stands up, and Gets off at the next stop.

The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says:”I can tell you how to get to have sex with her!”

“Yeah?”, says the hippie.

“Yeah!”, say the bus driver. “She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray,
So all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put’ some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God.”

The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.

“I am God,” he declares to the nun, Keeping the hood low about his Face. “Have sex with me.”

The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.

‘God’ agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.

“Ha-ha,” he cries. “I’m the hippie!”

“Ha-ha,” cries the nun. “I’m the bus driver!

 

Today’s funny – A MUST READ FOR PARENTS OR GRANDPARENTS!

A MUST READ FOR GRANDPARENTS!
Have Kids Or Grandkids???

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, ‘Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?’
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

‘Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?’
The little boy nodded ‘yes!’
‘So,’ the coach continued, ‘I’m sure you know, when an Out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head, dickhead or asshole. Do you understand all that? ‘
The little boy nodded ‘yes’ again.

He continued, ‘And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play too, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach “a dumb ass or shithead” is it?’
The little boy shook his head ‘NO!’

‘GOOD!’ said the coach . . . ‘Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother!’

Today’s funny Thursday 19th September 2013

Some Thoughts about Red wine
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they Wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case . Coincidence? I think not.”
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”
~ Brian O’Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them!

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To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here’s how it went:

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think are whispering when you are not.

 

Today’s funny, 17 September 2013

The Pope was having a shower. Although he was very strict about celibacy, he occasionally needed to exercise the Papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions.

Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air.

“Hold on a minute!” said the Pope, “You can’t do that – you’ll destroy the reputation of the Church!”

“This is my lottery win”, said the photographer, “I’ll be financially secure for life with these photos!”

So, the Pope offered to buy the camera from the photographer, and after much negotiation, they eventually settled on a figure of $2 000 000.

The Pope clothed himself and headed off to destroy the images on the camera. Along the vast Vatican hallways, he bumped into his personal housekeeper. Being a bit of a photography buff, she noticed the camera and said, “That looks like a really expensive digital SLR camera, how much did it cost you?”

Not being one to lie, the Pope replied, “….two million dollars…”

“TWO MILLION DOLLARS!” replied the housekeeper. “They must have seen you coming!”

 

 

Today’s funny Sunday 18th August 2013

A couple from Basildon, both bonafide chavs, had 9 children.  They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband ‘done.’

After performing the necessary procedure, the doctor asked them what finally made them make the decision why, after nine children, would they choose to do this?

The husband replied that they had heard on the ITV News that one out of every ten children being born in the U.K. was Asian, and that he and his wife didn’t want to take a chance on having an Asian baby because neither of them could speak the language.