Today’s funny Wednesday 24th July 2013


Scottish Diplomacy

One thing about blokes from Scotland is that their hearts and humour are always in the right place!
Jimmy MacDonald, a City Councillor from Glasgow, was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists.
His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.

HIS STATEMENT:
‘If hooking up one rag-head terrorist’s testicles to a car battery gets the truth out of the lying little camel shagger to save just one Scottish soldiers life, then I have only three things to say;
Red is positive, Black is negative and make sure his nuts are wet.’

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:
                                                                               

1. If you refine heroin for a living,

but you have a moral objection to   liquor.
You may be a Muslim

2. If you own a £3,000 machine gun and £5,000 rocket launcher,

but you can’t afford shoes.
You may be a Muslim

3. If you have more wives than teeth.
You may be a Muslim

4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand,

but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim

5. If you think vests come in two styles:

Bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim

6. If you can’t think of anyone

you haven’t declared Jihad against.
You may be a Muslim

7. If you consider television dangerous,

but routinely carry explosives in your   clothing.
You may be a Muslim

8. If you were amazed   to discover that mobile phones

have uses other than setting off   roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim

9. If you have nothing against women

and think every man should own at least   four.
You may be a Muslim

10. If you find this   offensive or racist and don’t forward it.
You may be a Muslim


       

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