Today’s funny Sunday 7th June 2013


Vicars

A Vicar books into a hotel and says to the receptionist, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled!”

Receptionist says ‘ No it ‘ s just ordinary porn……..you sick ba*tard…!

Retirement Dinner

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.

A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

‘I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.

I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.

The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.

He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.

I was appalled.

But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.’…

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.

He immediately began to make the presentation and  gave his talk:

‘I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,’ said the politician.

‘In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.’

Moral :  Never,  Never,  Never Be Late

 

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