Today’s funny Tuesday 19th March 2013


When you’re over sixty you can say what you want

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.

She said, “If you lost a few pounds , had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
++++++++++++

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

“Really” she said, “Go on then…try.”

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.

“Come on, what day was I born”?

I said, “Yesterday.”

++++++++

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, “Nice legs.”

The girl giggled and said with a smile, “Do you really think so.”

I said “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. “

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